SELF- LOVE FASHION (AND EVERYTHING IN-BETWEEN)

Some hashtags that I see popping up on the internet these days are #loveyourself, #doyou and so forth. This is quite refreshing because I remember back in the day flipping through fashion magazines and hoping I will measure up, while all around me, young ladies were developing low self esteem and eating disorders just to look like the skinny, great figured, edited and glammed up ladies paraded on the glossy pages; the lengths that certain ladies went to get nice clothes back in the day and then the craze for plastic surgery to enhance certain facial and body features! Not to say that these no longer exist, but I think that these days the images representing beauty and confidence come in more diverse forms, shapes, sizes and textures than just ‘skinny’, ‘fat’ or ‘long, straight hair’. As a result, it is easier to feel validated and not judged for how we look- leading to a better appreciation of one’s self.

Photo courtesy Pinterest

                                                                                                   

Photos courtesy musesuniform.com

Whenever I think of great style, the two words that come to mind are “happiness” and “comfort”. And it’s true- at least to most of us- that the most common image in terms of ‘style’ is that of a self-assured person who values her happiness and is not afraid to bend or outrightly break the fashion “rules” while coming up with great-looking results. I think that’s why our Snapchat queens/Instagram influencers/Twitter celebrities/bloggers are so popular- they keep us obsessed with their selections from modern tastes, infused into their unique, personal style. It looks #flawless without trying too hard.

We use the term ‘self-love’ when we copy pick out interesting pieces from trends and mix/match them creatively in a way that shows that we care for and value ourselves. I see self-love as a true outlet of personal contentment- both by enjoying our sense of style, and gaining respect for ourselves and for others around us.

Earlier when I was getting on Instagram I tried to take it on by being laid back with a few style looks I thought I had nailed, but some did not look right. I questioned whether Instagram style is indeed personal or perhaps for other people’s appreciation.

With a bit of research, I saw that the Instagram- worthy shot requires a good deal of planning  based on personal motivations- either for personal values or even as a career option. Behind each perfect shot are myriads of imperfect ones, endless poses, makeup on fleek, dressed to the nines (with or without somewhere in mind to get to 😉), in front of specially selected backgrounds and perfect lighting/editing. And to get a large followership, the smart social media buff/self-lover knows to readily dish out reviews of products, hacks and tips to achieve the said style. They know that as they show self-love, they help others to do the same.

Self-love fashion for me denotes:

1. Personal Style: You need to develop an intentional and continuous art called personal style; and not just dance to the tune of the Kim Kardashians or Vogue magazines of this world. A huge chunk of it comes from understanding that style evolves and though it would be foolhardy to blow all your savings on the hottest trends, it will be impractical to overlook how the trends are coming and going! You can rather, take a bit of the trendy theme to inject into your everyday style so you don’t feel left out.

Photo courtesy Instagram

Photo courtesy Pinterest

2. Self-care: Who doesn’t like a nice warm and scented bath soak, complete with a glass of wine after a long stressful day? But I’m talking more than the physical- you also need to nourish your mind. Engage in a soul uplifting sessions every day for at least 20 minutes. You could take out time to pray, read, do yoga, be with family/friends or by yourself and whatever else can improve your mind space.

3. Take care of your body and accentuate your positives.

4. Have style goals and style right for the occasion.

5. Cultivate confidence and experiment with fit, colours and trends.

6. Fashion is never that serious so don’t compete or put your peace on the line. Appreciate who you are and what you have. 

Photo courtesy: pinterest

Constantly posting on social media is a profession and a lifestyle for some people as an offshoot of self-love fashion. For every person though, your style significance should not be based on the number of likes on your Instagram post or any 'sabi sabi' comments of some people you interact with. Self-love fashion and creating personal style is like having good manners – always be presentable and respectable at the occasion, regardless of who nods their head or double taps their screen. Let your style stand out, not just to grab attention but to present yourself in your most confident and refined state.

Let 2018 be the year of self-love and I will be looking out for your intentional fashion footprints👏! 

OBSESSED OR DRESSED ABOUT THE EX?

Hey guys, I hope your New Year is off to a good start…

So, I was thinking about this and thought to ask; how will you feel if you unexpectedly run into an ex? Should you have something or someone to show off? Or will the lost emotions pop up all over again?

Break-ups, tough as they can be, leave us with a strong desire to have better romantic relationships. Little wonder then, how social media simply loves to prove how terrible our ex was and how we hope they never find anybody as good as us…lol…On the other side of the coin, the new girlfriend is obligated to demonstrate how much of a better package she is than the girl from the previous relationship.

Most of us are willing to accept that our partners have been with other people, but some of us don’t want to know the details… or maybe we do.  We get convinced that we need to know just a few things about the person- to understand “Le boo’s” taste, or perhaps to appease ‘the amebo within’. What is she like? Is she anything like me? What kind of clothes does she wear? Is she the sassy, extroverted person with new adventures at every corner? Or the clingy lovey-dovey who cannot say two words without saying my Baby did – or my Baby said –?

When crossing the line between natural curiosity and straight-up obsession, a lot of stalking is bound to happen and maybe you may run into Miss Ex. What’s the worst that could happen?

The Timid Girl Zone

For a while stalking the ex- may be interesting, however it can take a dive into a sad habit. At first you convince yourself to be more demure, decent; encouraging yourself that the “good girl” in you will put every ex out of business. Besides, it is not like you should give a damn... right? Well, sister, an “I-don’t-care” attitude may be unsuccessfully masking hidden dilemmas and self-esteem issues e.g. unshaved armpits, the ten-week-old hairdo… It’s not inner beauty. 

The Mean Girl Zone

We all have our moments of cattiness against our fellow ladies, especially when we have marked our territory and we sense a threat. The danger though, is letting it go into over-drive. Fierce jealousy and even anger sets in, even when Miss Ex- is not hanging around your circles or is seemingly trying to steal this guy from you. You also feel compelled to trash-talk the babe as often as possible. You begin to work on being super hot… and you make sure she knows it. Bodycon dresses to show your full hips, expensive pant suits and heavily embellished abayas to show off your luxurious tastes. Honestly you are not sure why you need to get this vicious. You think you’ve confirmed your status. Or did you?

   

The Indifferent Girl Zone

Running into the Ex is no bother to you, she may as well live with you and you will go in and out without a care in the world. There is not one jealous accessory on your outfits either; easy flared skirts and breezy casual jeggings are your go to outfits. As you throw on the Fedora, you think that if his exes are amazing then he has good taste! Even when you run into the Ex, you leave more aware of why it did not work out and more in touch with the power of your own kind of beautiful.

 

The Best Friend Zone

You heard about Miss Ex, you stalked, and you met her and... She seems nice, there was a good conversation going on. She has this flawless style thing going on that you admire. Although you will try to keep your distance because sharing an ex is a very bizarre arrangement – the kind of complication you will rather avoid. But she still tries to invite you to interesting events, wants to introduce to some new people... It looks like an inescapable situation, might as well dive in and enjoy it. Turns out that you had a lot more fun than you expected and she becomes your new BFF.

VERDICT

Whatever class you fall into, it is important to note that as much as you may love to hate her, the ex-girlfriend held some point of attraction for him. Being frumpy, creepy or mean does not make you the better deal. So while you are dressing to impress your man, let your fashion choices be more about how your style has evolved over time and less about competing with the fashionista he used to date. Be comfortable in your own skin and enjoy being the star that you are :) !

I will love to hear your thoughts...

WHAT DOES YOUR CLOSET SAY ABOUT YOU?!

Happy New Year Guys!

It gives me great pleasure that everyone reading this, including myself, has seen the year; 2016, and I’m glad it’s already looking good J. 

I’m not a fan of new year resolutions (I’m not even sure if adults still do that), but the start of the year is the best time to re-organize yourself, clean out your junk from the previous year; 2015, and make room for greater things in 2016. What better way to start that, but by cleaning out your closet?

If I were to ask how your closet currently looks, what will be your answer? Organized? Filled with dirty/old clothes? Clustered? whatever your answer may be, It’s no secret that the look on the outside sends subtle (or not-so-subtle) cues about what you’re like on the inside. Studies have shown that the way your closet looks, says a lot about your personality. Let’s explore a number of ways ladies’ closets tend to look;

The Unworn Clothing Jungle

The closet which might be somewhat organized, but most likely clustered, is filled with old clothes which you don’t currently use/wear. Either they are some sizes below your current size (I would lose weight and wear it soon syndrome) or they are old fashion trends which you are hoping would come back in style. It might even be a mother holding on to her pre-baby outfits.

This lady most likely, has an anxious personality and is unwilling/ has a hard time letting go of her past. She might also hold on to emotions like anger and fear.

The Emperor of New Clothes

This closet is filled with new clothes which most likely still have their tags on. She’s most likely a shopaholic who is into the next best thing, and everything has to be of the moment.

She uses shopping as a pacifier when sad or she has an idea of what her life should look like, but reality isn’t matching up. So rather than solving the root of her sadness or doing something more constructive towards meeting her ideal life goal, she goes out and shops for that imaginary life she wants to have, but hardly wears the clothes.

The Neutral Queen

Looking into this lady’s closet, you will find solely neutral colors, i.e. white, black, ivory, beige, nude, etc. She most likely has an organized closet, but tends to buy a lot of the same style in nude colors.

This group of ladies don’t like attention; they have a sense of almost wanting to disappear and not wanting to be seen. She might be an introvert who is only comfortable within her zone and one who isn’t open to change or she might have a self-esteem issue.

The Secret Mess Agent

On first glance into this lady’s closet, everything seems in place; clothes neatly folded, no cluster in sight, but looking deeper into the closet, the real mess is revealed. Behind the folded clothes, are hips of clothes thrown in an untidy manner into the closet and other junk items.

Most ladies with this kind of closet have a two sided personality. On the outside, she is the kind of person other people look to for guidance, because she really seems to have it all together. She’s most likely well dressed, poised, and walks around with an enviable air of confidence; but on the inside, the pressure to be perfect all the time overwhelms her and she lets that out with her wild side.

The Identical Shopper

In this lady’s closet, you will find similar clothes like; an identical dress in different colors or a similar kind of skirt, blouse or pants.

Though ladies like these claim it’s easier to buy what they already think suits them, but in reality, they might have some unresolved issues in their job or relationship. She tends to be afraid of change in work environments or afraid of commitments in relationships and is quite averse to risks.

Let’s examine ourselves, I know which of the groups I fall into, do you??

This first month of the new year, let us ladies try and take out time to clear out our closets. You can also ask a trusted friend to help you out so you get an objective opinion.

Cleaning Tips

       1. Separate your clothes into; ‘I wear this frequently, and I don’t wear this’ pile.

2. Sell what you haven’t worn in a while or donate it.

3. Think about who you want your ideal self to be and how does that woman dress. If any of your frequent clothes don’t correspond to that woman, also sell/donate them.

4. Start shopping and dressing like your ideal self.

5. For those with conservative styles, to step a little bit out of your box, you can play with trends in cool colors (like blue, green), which isn't pushing yourself too much. You can also try play around with accessories.

5. Organize your closet by color, then style. This will help you so much when you are getting ready in the morning. For example, you can arrange all black tops next to each other or simply all tops together (depending on your closet’s size).

6. Know what colors/styles make people go WOW when they see you and always have such outfit in your closet.

We would love to hear your thoughts…

THE LAST MINUTE WEDDING GUEST

Your childhood friend Sharon, calls to say she is getting hitched in two months, oh wow, congratulations you scream back at her, such awesome news, who is he?, how are the preparations going? and it goes on and on….

Fast forward one month, three weeks and five days later, it hits you - OMG, Sharon’s wedding is this weekend and you’ve got no clue on what to wear. The thought of reconnecting with so many old friends at the wedding who haven’t seen you in ages, makes it even more important you look your best. How do you get the best outfit?

One of the most difficult parts of preparing to attend a wedding is finding the right thing to wear. If you’re feeling the pressure to look your sharpest for those upcoming nuptials, here are five tips to ensure that you’re the best-dressed guest at any wedding you attend:

Determine the right color for your skin tone;

Before you buy any new outfit, you should know how to choose colors that flatter your skin tone. Choosing the wrong color can make your skin and even your hair appear dull, while the right colors for your skin tone can make you look vibrant. So though you might get the right outfit style wise for your body, if those colors aren’t working for your skin tone, darling you just wasted a good outfit.

To test if an outfit color is good for your skin tone, Hold the clothing color up to your face, under your chin and look into a mirror, what do you see first? Your face or the clothing? Best if you see your face before the clothing. Also notice what the colors do for you - uplift you, wash you out or overpower?

We would talk more about colors on the next series.

 Accentuate your best asset

Though you should accentuate your favored asset, it’s important to remember that you are going to a wedding not a night party or a club. Your outfit can have ONE sexy element like a plunging neckline, short hemline, low back, or a body con fit, but no more than one.

In Melissa Coker’s words, “If it looks like something Jennifer Lopez would wear on tour, it's probably out of bounds for your friend's wedding.”

Avoid neutrals

I’m thinking most people know they should avoid wearing white to a wedding (or ivory or champagne, for that matter), unless you are the bride, add black to that list. Though black is traditionally a no-go, wearing a little black number to an evening wedding might work, as long as the dress feels fun and light. However, if there's even the slightest chance it could fit into a procession for the deceased, please put it back on the rack and slip into something more colorful.

Keep it sophisticated

Some interesting outfits to wear to a wedding are; a short prom-like dress (depending on your age range), doll dresses, a color block dress (with colors that suit your skin tone of course), vintage lace gowns, pencil/pleated skirts, stylish maxi dresses, flowery silk gowns, jump suits.

Accessorize

The right accessories bring out your clothing, just be careful not to be obnoxious with the style of your hat/purse/shoes/jewelry.

Most importantly, look and feel confident! If you try to stick to these guidelines above then you should be fine. 

For more in-depth clothing advise, kindly contact us via mail: info@crosswordcw.com or mobile: +234 8 018 450 7330.

FIRST DATES AND A TINT OF FASHION

Hi Darlings…seems like a decade since you heard from us, we definitely missed you all. Apologies for the silence, we would definitely make it up to you...sending lots of kisses.

The Christmas holidays are almost here…whoop whoop, definitely the best time of the year for me J; from the cool weather to the Christmas décors, parties, yummy dishes/pastries (thank Goodness for gyms), family time, serene choruses, and of course the presents! So you can imagine how excited I am. I am sure I’m not the only one that feels this way…Let’s not forget the romantic stuff, yep! Like the song goes, Christmas just ain't Christmas without the one you love.

Being single during the holidays can be tough, we have all been there at some point, (well I have). Besides having one less person to buy a present for, there's the awkward nagging questions/small talk from relatives at family parties, the endless fire cracking proposals being displayed on social media, with pictures of cute couples, while you keep watching, hoping and waiting....lol.

Wouldn’t we just love that first date to bloom to a long-term relationship (assuming he's your perfect match), especially with the upcoming holidays? Giving a good first impression sure has a lot to do with it, like the popular saying goes- ‘you only get one chance to make that good first impression’.

While getting ready for that date, here are a few tried and tested fashion tips to remember:

KISS IT (Keep It Simple and Sexy): While you might want to impress your date, this isn’t the time to wear that Avant Garde outfit or to use a multi-color blocking theme. You’ll look like you tried too hard, and your date might get a little scared, being overdone can also translate to high maintenance. Think classic styles depending on the venue, while not revealing too much flesh. E.g., drapey skirts, blouses with V-neck/sweetheart necklines, gowns which accentuate the waist, a fitted pair of jean / bright colored Tees. Skip the complicated stuff and save your trendier garments for future dates, you are better off teasing him with a hint of sexy and then leaving him wanting to see more.

Avoid Dark Colors, Especially Black: I know most ladies might prefer to wear that little black dress on a date. However, most men think black makes women seem older and unhappy. If you absolutely have to wear your LBD, then, at least, complement it with a colorful accessory or a bright necklace to add some life into your look. It’s no surprise that the most alluring color by far, holiday season or not, is (wait for it.. pause...) red! While everyone might not be open to wearing red, seeing it’s such a bold color, other colors like peach, pink, and purple, would work.

Dress up with Him in Mind: Use what you already know about him to make strategic choices on your outfit. E.g., if your date is shorter in height, maybe opt for flats over four-inch stilettos. There’s nothing wrong with a woman being taller than her man, but until you get to know him better, it’s best to be sensitive and not tower over him in case it’s something he’s self-conscious about. If he seems reserved, choose an outfit in the slightly more conservative range. This can be done fashionably without compromising your personal style.

Flaunt your Feminine Side: Don't choose an outfit that looks like it came out of his closet, e.g., a male's suit or baggy clothes. Wearing a feminine outfit, will make you look flirty, e.g. lacey things, florals, and dresses, especially ones that accentuate your best assets; a shorter one if you have good legs, a sleeveless one if your arms are toned or a cinched one if you have a tiny waist. If your style is more manly (tomboyish), try tone it down a little on your first date. You want him to be a man, so try look like a woman.

Choose Comfort over Fashion: I can’t stress this enough, do not wear something that is ill-fitting, itchy, doesn’t breathe well or shows perspiration easily (silk and satin). The idea is to project your genuine personality, which will be difficult if you are fussing with your clothing. It will also distract your date from the conversation. This especially applies to shoes; don't wear stilettos if you can't walk in them comfortably for 3-4 hours. He is more likely to notice your dazzling smile or your witty banter than those Louboutins anyway J .

Finally, when it comes to wearing makeup, don't go completely au naturel. Even if it's just a little bit of eye liner and a dab of mascara to brighten your eyes, you should choose to enhance your natural look. Lip gloss is especially key because it draws a man's eyes to your lips. (Just so you can swallow meals better...lol)

We would love to know other fashion tips that worked for you on your first dates based on Le boo's feedback. Guy's, we would also love to know your thoughts...

WHEN YOU DO NOT LIKE YOUR MAN'S STYLE...

You may not be the Kim K of fashion, but you take note of the details of grooming and style... Or you may not really send your appearance but you appreciate it when le boo looks like a million pounds on the sidewalk or at  an event right beside you. He doesn't seem to mind that he has worn an oversized basketball vest to come pick you from your friend’s place, and you a dropped jaw from the spotted tiny underarm hole on his shirt when he laughed and raised his arm…..lol!

You are not the only one in the boat, however you love him more than what the clothes have said. You will however like that he takes note of those rooming details, maybe not just the hair carve and vest change. Truth is that a man is more courageous to go to war, than to begin a stock of what is torn in his closet. And even when he makes an attempt to keep clean and fresh, you may just wish he was more deliberate in his colour choices and purchases... 

Here's what you can do-

1. Compliment what you like on him: many people dress to cover up parts of their bodies they're ashamed of, and in the process choose tacky and poorly fitting clothes. Remind your partner that you like them just the way they are, recognize when he gets his style right, even if it's only the shorts that make sense. Tell him you like them, they'll give him an idea of the things you will like to see him in. Of course he will try to wear it again just to see u crack that gap-tooth smile. 

2. Guide him into the fashion context: give him an idea of the kind of look you would like him to portray especially when attending an event together, instead of imposing your style sense or Idris Elba's style sense on him. Let him see the picture and you both can follow up together.

3. Talk About what makes him comfortable or what determines his style: let him show you or tell you how he thinks when he wants to dress up. If you are expecting a detailed and elaborate description you might be very disappointed, because men are very simple and quite straight forward about whatever concerns them. However listen for non-verbal cues and ask questions (please do not be overbearing)

4. Purchase clothes: you could get as a gift something you will like to see him in. Let's hope it does not end up sitting under a box. When you go shopping together, you could suggest something you will like him to wear and to reach a compromise; he could select something for you as well. You both have to purchase/wear each other's suggestion, as a compromise.

Overall treat your man with respect, when it comes to solving his "girl-friend-diagnosed-style-problem". Clothes are only outward extensions of what you admire, his personality is what you will travel with as soul mates....*wink*

STYLE PERSONALITIES AND WHY WE LOVE THEM...

Many fashion icons or style crushes we look up to obviously have a better wardrobe or even stylists at their beck and call. However something they also possess is a confident consistency. They have tweaked some part of their personality and made sure they shine through it. 

All women of the world have worries, fears and things they will rather hide... And we all have something we are confident about as well. This is where signature style comes in. Whether we know or not, our personality reflects on our style to a large extent. Style therefore mirrors personality, and in consideration of such external influences as work, lifestyle a good eye or just acquired taste.This post will help you understand what you represent based on style personalities and will show you what to add to take it to the next level. 

Let us take a look at some of the qualities of a few style crushes...

The Bombshell: Toke Makinwa, Damilola Adegbite, Toolz

Sexy is the mantra for these women. And for them, picking pieces that show off a curvy, feminine figure is the norm. These sexy sirens do not believe in choosing a style on the basis of age.

Basic components:

·   When dressing like a sultry siren, be prepared to draw attention to yourself. Look for clothes that accentuate the hourglass. Deep V’s and high slits are acceptable necessities. 

·    Choose body-hugging, figure-flattering cuts. Avoid sack dresses, (too) simple dress designs, masculine tailoring, and anything with too much coverage. (helps even though you don't have an hour glass figure)

  ·  Brights, white, and black all work in solid shades. Prints, patterns, and elaborate embellishment detract from the focal point - your body. 

The Classicists - Kate Henshaw, Stella Damascus 

These women prefer basics — the T-shirt, blazer, white shirt, and trousers — and look effortlessly chic in simple staple pieces. These women would ordinarily not stick their necks in the tidal trend waves. They stick to clothes "as they are made to be", no fancy designs or unnecessary extras.

Basic Components:

·         Embrace tradition. Sticking with things that have stood the test of time is often the key to looking clean and elegant.

·         The hottest and newest don't always suit a simpler style. If intrigued by a trend, incorporate it into your look in a subtle way, maybe with an accessory. 

·         Keep a clean line. Frivolity, frills, and fanciful cuts are not in tune with a more established approach to dressing.

·         If you fit with this persona, pick a pared-down palette - colors that do not call a lot of attention. Black, white, navy, gray, and khaki are classic. 

The Non-conformist: Chimamanda Adichie, Asa

These ladies seem primarily attached to their art and therefore set a free-spirited style in ethnic-inspired looks. They grab your attention because they do not fit into the trendy style mould nor the basic style niche. It's like staying chic, with an aura of  very, very approachable calm.

Basic Components:

·         Master the mix. Layering pieces, pairing new with vintage, and combining multiple textures all add to the appeal.

·         Banish plain shades. Wearing peppy colors highlights a carefree demeanor. 

·         You could even rock a laid back hairstyle (like Chimamanda's threaded hair) and still be in style. 

·         Play up prints - swirly paisleys, pretty florals, retro patterns,— the haute-hippie chick can pull off funky patterns. 

The Polished ladies: Genevieve Nnaji, Agbani Darego, Rita Dominic 

The prim, polished, and pulled-together air still resonates with today's refined set. This polished persona gives her the air of unreachable elegance.

Basic Components:

·         Keep it feminine but not flirty. Pick a silhouette that shows off your waist but not too much else. If you want to show some skin, choose one erogenous zone — like your shoulders, ankles, or décolletage — at a time.

·         Add charm. A bow, a touch of lace, or a slight ruffle offers a sweet edge. But keep it to one or two flourishes. Also try edgy dress designs 

·         Classic colors are most appropriate. Black and white will never fail you. Avoid anything over-the-top or garish, especially with colors - a pop of color is always sweeter. 

·         Fabric counts. Look for structured, high-quality materials. Anything too flimsy or sheer should be shunned. 

The Eclectics: Nkiru Anumudu, Tonto Dikeh 

It's all about having fun with fashion for these playful women. The appeal for these ladies is putting on everything and boy, they sure know how to make it all work. Bright colors, madcap pairings, peculiar accessorizing and loud patterns are part of the package.

Basic Components:

·         Never say never. Follow your heart when it comes to picking out your clothes. Forget what's appropriate or safe, and don't take yourself too seriously. Serious is boring anyway...

·         Eye-catching hues, look-at-me motifs, even bright colored hair are par for the course. 

·         Mixing and matching makes sense -e.g, a bejeweled shoes over a patterned dress... 

·         Be wary of crossing the line into "tacky boulevard". Keep one of your outfit pieces pared down or your accessories classic when wearing something wacky.

The ball is your court to judge your style. What do you think about your persona and your style? Where do you fit in? Oh, you don't fit in with these? Create your persona and tell us about it in the comment box.