“…DO THESE JEANS MAKE MY BUTT LOOK BIG?”

  She returned to the city with a big head, at least that’s what her friends said, but where did all her body go? She had no answer. She didn’t think anything was wrong with her or something called emaciation had happened to her, she only remembered that yesterday at the mirror she could count her ribs. “Gbemi, you need to add some weight”...her friend’s echoed. What happened? Did you fall sick? Were you worried? Did you lose money? What are you trying to do to yourself?” She laughed and said “I am fine; seriously I feel okay, I am not sick and I think I look really hot.” Her friends exchange glances…

Gbemi before the weight loss had what most would call a curvy body, but she wasn't going to let her other dream of having a hot celebrity body (more like a skinny body) go down the drain, so during her vacation, she was determined to make an extra effort to get it. 

When she got to Cross River, in between meeting new people, and visiting landmarks, she skipped a lot of meals or some meals as she put it. Now her friend’s reaction made her wonder just if she had gone a little too far. Could it be that she had passed off too many dinners and lunches and breakfasts? Oh no! How many times?

Now back to the bustle of city life, Gbemi is still insecure. Though she is really thin and feels like she has reached her target, she wonders why she still feels this way. She had to buy clothes a number of times more than she would ordinarily have, because almost everything was loose.. Is staying thin a standard for wearing clothes? Wow… She is trying to and is scared of adding weight and probably getting older. But each morning, the blanket still feels better than going out. It must be normal to hear such things like not stepping out for having nothing to wear, but they are not enough an excuse anymore. The mantra for staying true to herself is not helping either, it’s like the weight loss didn't help as much as she thought and now she wonders why….

It is pretty normal for most of us (ladies) to reserve the right to feel uncomfortable in our skin. It is in our minds to always look like we have it all – as in – we know every God-made-this-ugly-body-part and have devised scientific schemes and Photoshop to cover them.

But most times it is easier to see flaws in ourselves than in others. In the selfishness of covering up those flaws we try to make ourselves look good and in more outrageous scenarios, we undergo crazy diet and health risking measures. Even that guy is scared to say how you really look because you’ll bluntly point out every hideous thing on your body or get enraged ‘cos you think he’s not paying attention (which is safer)..

Anyone can relate to Gbemi and some of her insecurities, because whether a lady is skinny or chubby, her size can be a touchy subject….

“When you are comfortable in your own skin, even your flaws will look beautiful...” is this quote really true for you?

It will be great to hear your opinion and how you deal with size and style issues…. :) 

BEAUTY IN THE WALLET OF THE BEHOLDER

They say, you never get a second chance to make a first impression, and I refer to your dress sense on this one. You pay to appear beautiful, regardless of your social and economic status. From hair to dress to pedicure, taking fashion seriously means you take your pockets seriously as well.

And if you earn salary, I can imagine what your office policy allows for Dress Codes:

You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary, if we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

However, I strongly think you do not have to give out your left arm to appear your best and fashionable. There are always ways to cut through all the high blood pressure of looking good from hair to toes:

1.     Have a budget – Plan your earnings, there is always so much else to do with money than shoes, clothes, jewelry and make-up. Decide on how much you are willing to spend and stick to it 

2.     Plan ahead for what you want to buy: Make a separate list of what you need and what you want. Be specific about it.

3.     Buy best quality items (for clothes and hair) that you can afford – Instead of buying several cheap things or (worse) imitation goods that will wear out or shrink in less time, put your money on quality. Trust me when I also say quality doesn't ONLY live at Harrods or Louis Vuitton, so don’t solely rely on high-end stores .

4.     You can wait for a sale – The trend really does not just fade into thin air, if you cannot afford it at that moment, you can wait for the stores to slash the price on the desired item. Be on the look-out for good bargains, sales, and discounts.

5.     Buy your items in bits – This helps you check your spending and gives you the opportunity to make choices from a range of alternatives. Buy the essential stuff – outfits or pieces of the outfit or accessories.

6.     Mix and match your clothes – there’s never one way (alone) to wear something in your closet. Use the essentials, and other separates to build looks. Work around colors, patterns, solids and textures. You can create beautiful looks from what you already have or mixing your latest buys with your existing stuff.    

7.     Re-engineer some of your old clothes or styles to fit present trends – know or make friends with a good designer (u can always reach out to us- Crossword CW), if you have no skill in changing thread-work.

8.     Buy vintage clothes – because in the real sense fashion repeats itself

9.     Accessorize – Use accessories to update your outfit. Literally a brooch, that chunky necklace, some earrings, a scarf can change your whole outfit in dramatic ways 

Most importantly, exude confidence, and have a kind and polite character. Personality sells as hard as clothes too

It is so easy to get carried away with a dream of extravagant sprees, like you see in the movies. Being fashionable doesn't have to cost a fortune. You can look dressed to the nines and all haute couture, when all you are doing is combining well-chosen pieces….and trust me, it sure works J

Now ladies, regardless of which city or town you may reside, Crossword CW can help in your quest to have and maintain your fashion groove… call us on +2348091895225 

RETRO IN MODERN WEAR or “SPLUFIK” RETRO

I learned a new word in pidgin – splufik. I think it means splendid, and I want to incorporate it into my pidgin vocabulary. And just as I discovered splufik, I spotted a return of the retro. I know your mum said so a thousand times…however you do not need to wear it all at once. And in understanding your feminine side you might want to add old-school class to grab attention (maybe carry out another transfiguration). 

A little bit of this and that can add a dash of splufik to your outfit. The retro is simply old school glamour from the 50s, 60s, 70s, and 80s. It is playful and has quite an unconventional refined feel to it. Incorporating the retro is a great way to inject a bit of high energy to your everydayness.

So here are a few of our looks we urge you to try, even if it is one at a time. I am quite sure you cannot overlook them anyway…

1.    The Hair- The hair of those days was big, curly, full hair and up-do styles. If you have observed, some celebrities have used this in their music videos. Also bold hair accessories were a part of that time – bows, flowers, bandannas etc.

       2 . The Make-up –Popularly called the pin-up look. It is fresh-faced, eye lined black, a little blush and bold red lip, other bold lip colors are cool too. And if you think blush is not African, remember eba is still eaten with stew… 

      3.     Mini Trends – Whether it is skirts, dresses or shorts, these are nice ways to show off your hot legs, hips and pretty blouses. Plus if you are feeling conservative or cold pair with a jacket, leggings or patterned panty hose 

               

     4.    Pointy Shoes and Classic Pumps: With varying designs and colors and in unique mixes with Ankara and metallic strips 

     

                                                            

      5.    Floral prints – 

       

       

     6.    Jean Sleeveless Jackets: I don’t know how this trend came back but we love it and it can dress up or dress down almost everything, for work or play… 

             

        

      7.   Maxi Skirts – This was the hippie dress sense of the old days. Hippie was a nomadic youth subculture of the 60s who sought to free themselves from social restrictions, mainly identified by their unusual dressing, although hippie for African Americans meant currently fashionable and sophisticated in the 40s. Choose ye, which ye prefer… 

         

      8.   Crop Tops – “There is this thing about crop tops,” – a father tells his daughter, “you’ve got half a shirt on, you should have had a discount.” 

                  

       9.      Chunky Accessories – 

  

    Need we say more? Find your expression in fashion history. Look through old pictures; observe the trend waves and try this splufik trend...*wink

     

CAN A STYLIST DRESS YOU BETTER THAN YOU DRESS YOURSELF?

Beauty is defined by so many twists and perceptions, especially as constructed by folks such as designers, stylists, photographers, marketers, and lastly but most importantly, YOU. And even with so many tips and principles to consider, there are always days when nothing is working out.  Those off-days or drab days are the times when you wish that a “professional” someone exists to put something together and take away your misery.

The celebrity and model looks are very powerful images and mostly we fantasize (and copy) what they wear. It seems that they can afford to look better than you because of who they are… or what they have??? Who knows?

But, does a stylist know better than you? Or is it because fashion styling is their job (their bread and butter)? Is great fashion styling an in-born trait with some genetic number and code present in select human populations? Or is there a handed down generational (or family) legacy that differentiates your style from the next lady’s?

Well I can stick my neck out confidently to say that a pretty large proportion of ladies think that a stylist (employed or consulted) can dress them better than they would themselves. As believed, the stylist has received appropriate training as regards putting an outfit together, and with experience is better able to achieve looks that create lasting impressions, inclusive of current fashion trends and body type considerations.

A stylist is better able to capture work and lifestyle habits in giving fashion advice to his/her clients. They are also able to creatively use colors, prints, patterns, and accessories with effortless skill and work. For ladies with a heavy work schedule and who have to attend a lot of socializing functions, a stylist is a God-send, because s/he is able to cut out the stress of going from store-to-store to find just the outfit, as suits the occasion. For those on this side of the wall, convenience and ease of access is found with the stylist.

I daresay that without the stylist there will be little need for ladies to be as attentive to what they wear. Even with the cash strains and the obvious diversity of styling and clothing preferences, the undeniable and imaginative construct from a stylist cannot be underestimated. As a stylist detail is everything – each strand of hair, accessory, the show of skin, color, pattern and/or texture is playing a part in the powerful image story. It’s a breath-sweeping and lifting place to be able to spin past body shape and plain old stitches to produce a life of itself in inexpressible words of beauty and fashion.

As a stylist, my work is a life, an art and science of cutting through walls of people, place and time to bring forth a statement, only told by the clothes on your back… and admired by a waiting audience…

HOW FAR CAN YOU GO IN DRESSING FOR YOUR MAN.....???

Being young and coupled up, ladies tend to have a dual interest dose. One is flirting with first-meets and the other is being the center of Baby Boo’s heart. Alas but this is not about mushy attractions and puppy love.

As an unapologetic beautiful lady, I like to show off sometimes and for this reason I will dress up (no matter how I feel). You never know who you may run into anyway… That’s where ‘the boo’ comes in – he takes up the next significant opinion (first being my opinion) about what I am putting on. Of course it’s a special feeling as in super-cat-woman-powers when I knock him out of breath with my outfit. If u know what I mean ;-)…. It is in trying to recreate this truly desired buzz that I will purposely buy some clothes he will like.

The worry is will you change your style because of your man’s taste? Don’t go extreme on me with the whole wear-whatever-makes-you-feel-good sermon or don’t-define-your-life-around-a-man crap. Of course I can get as selfish as not to care what he prefers… but I love when he finds me super-attractive and shows me off. I don’t know how authentic but let’s have a look at the following scenarios:

       A.    My Man likes me looking old-fashioned

“My man is a wonderfully conservative guy; we aren't a year old yet. However he thinks I take adventures when I dress up, and he really doesn't like it. I think I am loud with what I wear but not mind-crazy. He cannot stand my short flared skirts, but I like showing my legs. He doesn't like my jewelry; he says they’ll pull out my lobes, but I love big jewelry. He also doesn't like that I wear make-up; he says I look prettier without it, but I feel plain silly without it. I thought I was supposed to make him happy by cutting down but am running mad – he has made rules for my fashion when we are to meet he’s friends and any member of his family. Is he high?”

            B.      My Darling Man thinks conservative is wacky

“My Darling is the crazy one, I am more conservative. I still expect him to one day open an ear hole or give me money for a tattoo somewhere – then I can make my conclusions. Even though I genuinely think he cares for me, he prefers when I show off my boobs (that I really struggle to tame under my clothes). He would rather I wear booty popping jeans, short and hugging dresses. I am not so comfortable about all that… “

      C.     My Charming Dear is indifferent about my fashion sense

“Le man is a pretty much laid back fellow with lots of jokes and sarcasm. I love his wit all the time, that’s why I said yes… I love to dress for him, but he doesn’t seem to notice. He can follow me shopping (sometimes) and says all sorts – funny, lame and even plain annoying – when I show off what I think of buying. I am able to take vengeance when I deliberately refuse to take his “genuine” fashion advice. It seems I just cannot impress him…”

Well ladies, will you buy stuff because “he” says so; tailor your wardrobe subconsciously to suit him; will you choose his fashion fancy or will u care less, as long as you look good?.....

DONE-TO-DEATH OR SO INSPIRED (2)??

The week is almost gone, yey! to that...... trust my ladies are gearing up for the weekend....*wink.  

Remember our last post? http://crosswordcw.blogspot.com/2013/05/done-to-death-or-so-inspired-1.html the write-up below continues from where we stopped. I  honestly didn't mean to break it down like our very own home video's...lol, anyways here it goes...

The ladies I promised you’ll meet have various ways of pulling their carriage off.

The reflection from Comfortable and “Traditional” Lady is usually that of a strong feeling about the “minimal benefits” that chasing trends accomplishes for the consumer. It is her opinion that a stable decision does not follow trends, but is disciplined to obtain clean and timeless pieces for whatever the mood and place. She doesn't sway with seasons, the seasons sway for her. She develops styles that never look out of place, regardless of space and time.

The thoughts of the Materialistic Lady are not concerned with the monetary extent to which one must attain to get trendy fashion labels or pieces – just as long as it can be gotten! This lady seems to live in a whirlwind of who has what, whatever can I do to get vogue stuff and “as long as I have it, the world is spinning fine. Plus the world’s idea is to get with the trend now and now… [no clues whatsoever, as to how to measure up].” Call her a victim of fashion and money or just a helpless lover of both??

This Lady does not attribute any deal to being in tune with fashion of the day and to own the trendy stuff – the Socialite. If you ask her, she just owns them. No sweat, no tears, no blood, no agony, they just gravitate towards her of their own accord. She (almost) always has something for every occasion. When she can afford something nice – why not splurge; when she can’t, she still gets it anyway…

Now meet Lady Clueless. She defines herself as comfortable, but Miss Comfortable cannot understand her. Miss Materialistic looks down on her; the Socialite is just sorry for her. She seems ignorant (or unmindful?) to what she puts on. She may or may not be defined with self-esteem issues, but she acts unaware of her lack of expression with her clothes. Usually the impression on meeting her is plain and un-lasting.

Now, having met these four ladies, which one of them do you really think you are???

Let’s be sincere…J

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

DONE-TO-DEATH OR SO INSPIRED (1)??

Ever walked into a public space – restaurant, photo studio, classroom – and weirdly all the girls look alike. Dressing, mannerisms, speech, hair, gesticulations, everybody is doing the same thing! Seriously! It is frustrating!! Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!

Although we all are as different as spots and stripes, and as slim is different from plump, the interesting fact about creating a worthy first impression is that having “your” style, while incorporating trends, will present you as likeable, thoroughly real, and more likely to be remembered. However we (guiltily) prefer to wear out inspiration, cling to clichéd images and imitate styles that are done-to-death… The vogue in today’s world of fashion encourages you to be somebody via what you wear or nobody at all. It’s almost lacking “le difference”… ((Forgive the French expression)). We forget that uniqueness can be the most beautiful aspect of living!

So why are we unoriginal? Is chasing trends beneficial?

Fashion as an idea, a created art and form of expression that is constantly evolving. 

Fashion is created to be as different and as unique as individual finger-prints. It simply requires "you". 

Marc-Alain Descamps, French philosopher and psychologist presented fashion as an ever-changing and over-determined phenomenon which expresses the unconscious and one's own personal evolution, and which covers many roles and values in human psyche. The expression of individual style with colors, labels, trends, and fabric cuts is based on moods, events, seasons, culture and the environment.

I will introduce you to the four ladies I happened to distinguish in that room full of the same people: - the Traditional and Comfortable lady, the Socialite, the Materialistic lady and the Clueless lady.

((TO BE CONTINUED))